Developing emotional intelligence is essential for working with others. We all make choices based on our emotions, regardless of the impacts, and then justify our choices. Emotions influence almost every decision we make, whether at home or at work. So, if you wish to collaborate with others, you must understand the importance of emotions.

In my last article, The Power of Your Beliefs,  we understood that we carry many influential emotions from our childhood, ones that are the foundation of our decision-making. In our minds, these emotions cause us to choose the automatic style of working. Thus, we falter in its vicious cycle without recognising it, which can lead to struggles in certain areas of our lives, like love, work, friendship, family, or money.

Do you experience cold feet on the day of your interview, even if you’ve prepared thoroughly? Is there anything in your life that you consistently struggle with? Do you feel like circling in an endless loop? Do you feel paralysed?

Sometimes these emotional blockages are so hard to recognise that addressing them would be a light year ahead.

Modern life is full of challenges and emotional twists. We react to everyday emotions and act in the default style.

Let’s try to crack this error for personal fulfillment and professional success. 

What are emotions?

Emotions are a human coding style for the stimuli present in our environment. Emotion is a broad concept that we commonly understand as a mood or feelings. 

• We feel good or bad dimensions of emotions such as joy, sorrow, happiness, fear, love, excitement, anger, hate, and many such feelings throughout our lives, which generate a physical reaction to them.
• Our mood is a period in which we experience that particular feeling but it has less intensity than an emotion.

Emotions are very subjective. Every human being has a different capacity to feel and experience any emotion, which has a physiological reaction and is a primary exponent of your expression.

You may get excited about seeing chocolate fudge during PMS, but you may not feel the same excitement any other day (girls can relate, boys please try google). 

Our emotions are influenced by many situational factors, such as gender, personality, and many other proximate/collective factors.

We as humans have a Feeling brain and a Thinking brain, which we normally vocalize by saying “thinking from the heart” (feeling brain) 💓 or “thinking from the brain” (thinking brain). This is to inform you that our heart is just a pumping organ for blood and oxygen, and we do not think from our heart. 😁😂😂😉. And evidently, it is all in your brain. 

It is equally important that these two sides of your brain don’t clash frequently and remain balanced and in sync to function appropriately. “The one who can master the emotions can master the actions, and once you master your actions, you can easily master your future reality.”

If you don’t address these underlying emotional issues, you may not be able to live a meaningful and happy life. The way we handle our emotions determines the quality of life we live, and you can’t have the latter without dealing with the former issue.

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

In simpler terms, it means that you can’t have it both ways. 

How do we form emotions?

Emotions are concepts we form. A concept is a compressed version of our experiences throughout life. Our brain collects all the information as simulations through our sensory organs and interprets this data to make sense of the world around us. 

For example:- a newborn baby will touch the hot utensil on the stove as he does not understand the concept of fire and heat, but over time, when touching the utensils hurts and makes a burning sensation for a kid, he/she will form a concept and the emotion of pain surrounding hot utensils. So, in short, we have multiple experiences with heat and pain throughout our lives, and the brain works on survival and adaptation instincts to avoid these experiences.

In the same way, we form many concepts and complex interconnections, and whatever we instruct our brain through the years forms our perspective( glass of society and environment)  of the emotions felt, and we create our beliefs surrounding that variable. 

Our brain works in a very peculiar way, and the evolution of the human brain is an indigenous concept itself. Our brain simulates what is going on around us through our memories, thoughts, and beliefs, through which we experience our emotions.

Thinking Brain vs. Feeling Brain – Who drives our important decisions?

Imagine that your brain is a Ferrari. I have used Ferrari because let’s stay rich in our thoughts and, in the long run, you will understand why I used this metaphor. When you are driving on the road of life, you pass many intersections and cross borders, which represent the important decisions you make that will decide where you are taking yourself. Isn’t it? 

Your Ferrari has two travelers-a thinking person and a feeling person. Your thinking mind is responsible for your conscious thoughts and is calculative of the pros and cons of a situation. Your feeling brain is responsible for your emotions, instincts, impulses, and gut. Currently, my thinking brain is calculating how I can survive this pandemic, and my feeling brain wants to run for a beach vacation and escape this drama. I hope you feel me. 😃😉

Our thinking brain is rational and accurate, so the rational brain knows that certain habits such as smoking, excessive tea, or coffee affect your health and have to be controlled, but our emotional brain does not acknowledge it and you have a hard time changing it as emotions drive action. 

It is because your rational brain is slow and systematic, which takes effort and consistency, whereas your emotional brain is quick, is very instinctive, could be irrational, and comes to a conclusion very easily. Your feeling brain is sitting in the passenger seat while your thinking brain drives the car. The thinking brain, being practical, chooses to drive in a rational and straight manner, whereas your feeling brain is screaming to take a different turn and create turmoil within you, which is where you find your emotional blockages. 

Emotional intelligence is important for overcoming emotional barriers to happiness and success in life, and it is also important for your intellectual ability. 

Whenever you know what is a rational decision but are still unable to pull it out of your life, it is because your emotions are conflicted. Recognize! Think! Act! Your feeling brain is that child whom you can’t throw out of the car, no matter how hard you try to keep your emotions shut. You will be trapped in the loop until you start recognizing and addressing these emotions constructively.

 

Build Your Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional quotient (EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions to communicate whilst being empathetic towards others’ emotions as well. We probably know people, either at work or in our circle, who are really good listeners who listen to your situation patiently and somehow magically know what to say and how to say even harsh truths so that we are not upset or offended.

Even if they don’t have a solution, you will feel more relaxed and optimistic just by sharing it with them. These people are masters at managing their emotions; they know when to trust their instincts and are excellent decision-makers. Research shows that people with high EQ are more likely to succeed than people with high IQ and experience. It is one of the crucial skills for becoming a leader or being on the radar for exponential opportunities.

The following 6-point guide will help you develop a high EQ:

1. Acknowledge Emotions:- Every emotion in your story starts with you, so stay put for a while and acknowledge your feelings about situations and people around you. How do your emotions affect your thoughts and actions.
2. Differentiating and Analyse:- Ask questions like “what am I feeling?”, “how am I doing?” and “what do I want?”
3. Accept and appreciate emotions:- Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Pay attention and accept and choose to learn from your behaviors, rather than defending them and going back into a downward spiral.
4. Reflect on your emotions and their origin:- Because your emotions affect your thoughts and your thoughts affect your behavior (action). Create a checklist and get things done. Take action. This creates room for better things to prosper.
5. Handle your emotions:- Practice it with every breath. It won’t happen overnight, but with mindful efforts every day one can achieve the art of handling emotions.
6. And lastly, handle the emotions of those around you:- Be more empathetic and understand the “why” behind other people’s feelings and reactions. It is a very important step for social skills and being a people person.

When we heal our emotional energy, we will have a deeper connection with ourselves and with those around us, and we will increase our capacity to have a more meaningful life as a whole.

Many Fortune companies use emotional intelligence tests to hire employees, and working in this arena of your life can be the key to achieving many of your goals, such as career and interpersonal relationships. 

Imagine the world if every one of us was emotionally intelligent. It would spare us from emotional suffering as we would understand our emotions and be able to manage them and be empathetic towards society and the people around us. Just imagine the beauty of it.

A world full of mutual understanding, acceptance, tolerance, and meaningful connections.

Albert Einstein once said, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant.” “We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Happy healing everyone 🙂